I admit I make parenting mistakes and I am not a perfect parent. But as far as I am concerned, I am trying to give my child everything I can. I always make sure that he follows my orders and use them for his benefit. I am sure I am making the right decisions for him because I know better. But, do I?
According to Ruby Natale PhD, PsyD “Many people use the same tactics their own parents used, and a lot of times that meant using really harsh discipline.” We always think that being a parent we have the right to control our kids. We make decisions for them because we assume they won’t do well. We try so hard to keep them away from danger, and when they disobey, we lose ourselves and unintentionally hurt them. But that’s the problem. Spanking our kids lead to complication and sometimes, it causes mental conditions.
My Worse Parenting Mistake
I usually use spanking as a means of disciplinary action for my child’s incoherent behavior. But recently, I noticed that instead of encouraging him to behave, he tends to have mood swings. He became distant and detached. At first, I thought that was okay because at least he learned his lesson. However, the constant spanking made him aggressive, agitated, disrespectful, and ill-mannered. So I wondered why my disciplinary action seemed not working anymore.
Amy Morin, LCSW is right when she said; “It’s important to ensure your parenting style is supporting healthy growth and development because the way you interact with your child and how you discipline her will influence her for the rest of her life.” So I attempted to talk to my child in the most comfortable way I can, but it didn’t work. I somehow felt that I already inflicted something in his emotional and psychological state that he thought about me as someone who will make his life miserable. He became depressed, anxious, stressed out, secluded, and lonely. Every time I approached him, he would tend to back off and shrug me off.
Since I used to spank my kid every time he committed a mistake, I continually did what I thought I had to. Though I seemed to notice those different behaviors, I ignored them. I wasn’t thinking of any pediatric counseling whatsoever, not until he recently stopped talking to me. He ignored my presence as if I didn’t exist. He stopped communicating with me and pretended that I wasn’t around. At his young age, I got scared. So I questioned myself, “what have I done”?
Since I knew I made a mistake, I am now ashamed of the outcome. I don’t want to talk about my son or my situation in front of other people. And as much as possible, I don’t want anybody to know about it. I don’t want people to know that my parenting style created so much psychological pain to my child. So I tried searching the internet for possible solutions in my problem with my child, and I bumped into BetterHelp, a website that caters to online counseling. After reading a lot about the dangers of spanking and how it can cause a traumatic experience, I decided to schedule my son for pediatric counseling. Finally!
I understand Allison Ricciardi, LMHC on her statement that “You may have done everything right. You may have tried your best to instill the right values, morals and faith. Your kid’s challenging but that doesn’t mean failure on your part.” But as the process of consultation continues to show development, I became more ashamed of myself. I thought that physical damage had nothing to do with mental conditioning, but I was wrong. I inflicted my child’s emotional and psychological health, and now I am paying for what I did.
It is not easy to be a parent. There are lots of things that you probably know about it but do not entirely understand. Of course, you might not agree with me when I say it can be regretful at times because you would think that I am a bad parent for feeling that way. But admit it. Almost all parents worldwide suffer from stress and anxiety that they somehow wished their lives would have been different if not for having a child.
But then again, I don’t speak for everybody, and my parenting struggles are different from the rest of the parents out there. But one thing that we all might have in common is the stress associated with handling a very problematic kid. Before you react, let me remind you that every child is also different. They struggle with emotional and mental health on their own, and not because we are their parents, it does not mean that we know everything about their needs. So going back, before trying to come up with the list of “dos and don’ts,” we first have to identify what a problematic child is.
A problematic child is a child that is very complicated to handle. He posses negative behaviors that are often causing harm to himself and others. Typically, a problematic child gets exposed to all sorts of negativity, including criminal acts, substance abuse, anxiety, rage, excessive, disruptive talking, and carelessness. In some instances, he gets disinterested or withdrawn from daily life due to uncertain emotional flatness. Fortunately, there are ways to handle a problematic child, and the list is provided below.
Do What Feels Right – As a parent, you have that sense of entitlement towards disciplining your kid. That is normal, and as much as possible, you should practice imposing it. Yes, there can be times that your actions and decisions might not go along with other people’s points of view, but who cares? As long as you know you’re doing the things you do for the benefit of your child, these people should pack up and leave your parenting style alone. If, as a parent, you feel that your child needs punishment for his bad behavior, feel free to punish him. Just remember to do what you feel is morally right.
Be Consistent With Rules – Parenting can be a tough job since there are times that you become inconsistent about it. You break your own rules, which is not entirely helpful if you constantly alter them in favor of your problematic child. Yes, you might have to adjust for particular reasons. But you need to be careful in the process because your problematic child might use that as an opportunity for ambush. Therefore, it would be best first to develop a rule that you can follow and hold onto.
Try Not To Overreact – Of course, your child would cause a lot of trouble, especially if he’s used to doing it. But before coming up with immediate punishment, try to understand first his behavior and do not overact. Because sometimes, a kid’s behavioral problem does not always come from his eagerness to annoy or upset people. His refusal to follow the rules or questioning authority is very common too. It might be due to his mental and emotional issues that you might not know. It is vital to handle a problematic child in the calmest and approachable way. Because if not, you might trigger other unwanted behaviors associated with the present ones that are obvious.
Talk To Your Child – You need to talk to your child about what you noticed about him and make sure you understandably deliver the words more calmly. Please spare some time and have a meaningful conversation with your kid because that is the only way to relay your message without complicating the situation and confusing his mind. But be mindful that not because you talked to him, it does not mean he should automatically change. The process still takes time before your kid can finally internalize the list of disadvantages of the problematic behaviors. Thus, you must always guide him and make sure that he progresses positively.
Be Positive About The Good Things – As a parent, you can’t always know what to do, same as you don’t always understand the situations. Regardless of the idea that you know your child very well, you still might end up stitching mental and emotional solutions altogether for the sake of everyone. But don’t lose hope and be positive about the good things. Your child might be problematic today, but when you shower him with respect, understanding, good moral values, and love, he will eventually make it out better in the world. Always focus on your goal of helping him developed himself.
It was almost two years ago since I last felt this way. Though I must admit, I regularly get anxious as a parent. But this time, my anxiety is different. It creeps inside of me that it sometimes hinders me from functioning. The effect of this mental health condition might not be the same for others, but I guarantee that it is entirely exhausting and debilitating at this moment.
Frankly, there’s no way I could calm myself now due to this spread of Delta variant. It was all over the news, and I am feeling a little frustrated and scared. I am frustrated in the sense that I wouldn’t say I like this whole pandemic thing because of its impact. I lost my job because of it. I also struggled financially, emotionally, and mentally. On the other hand, I am scared because there is still a virus that keeps on multiplying up until now. And the worse case of it is that this particular disease targets children.
I am now full of anxiety and stress as a parent because I worry too much about my kids. I keep having these negative thoughts that they would get infected, isolated, and die from the virus one day. As a parent, I get so paranoid about little things such as what things my kids used and often touch, whom they are playing with, and what they are always up to. It is always about the worry and fear of not preventing the situation once it is there.
A parent’s anxiety is strong because everything about this new variant is dangerous in all aspects. Watching the news and knowing that most hospitals are now in such full capacity is problematic enough. But knowing that these patients are mostly kids is entirely an intense level of fear that a parent could have.
I do appreciate the effort of the world governments in keeping their constituents safe and secure. I am highly thankful for their effort in fighting the disease and trying their best to process the best and fastest solutions for this pandemic. But despite all the positivity out there, a parent will always be a parent. And our anxiety, stress, and emotional dysfunction towards the uncertainty of the pandemic are at their peak because of our constant thoughts of our kids’ safety.
How Deadly Is The Delta Variant?
The number of cases with the Delta variant is shocking. It can carry thousands of viral loads compared to the previous type of COVID-19. Studies have found that the Delta variant replicates more than usual, affecting the body’s immune system way faster. But it is not only that. The newest variant spreads more rapidly than transmission happens even if the person is fully vaccinated. And when people think about it, that medical finding is already scary enough. Therefore, people should not roam around the streets thinking they are safe with vaccines because they might still get infected or infect others one way or another.
The Delta variant brings multiple mutations. And as I have heard from the news, hospitals are now taking double measures to secure their patients. But as a parent, I am more worried for the sake of the people outside the hospitals. Because until now, there are still millions of people worldwide that are not fully vaccinated and are not accepting vaccines as an option. Yes, despite getting the shot, it does not mean that people are safe from getting infected. But at least, vaccines are still beneficial barriers. Fortunately, there’s not enough evidence on whether the Delta variant makes people sicker. But still, that is not good news. Experts still warn the people to take care of themselves as they have found a twofold risk of hospitalization during the spread of Delta compared to the Alpha variant.
Parenting During Delta Spread
This particular incident with regards to the first spread of COVID-19 was considerably the worse for everyone. It already created a tool for people’s physical, mental, and emotional aspects. And with this new variant, the negative impact is so strong that parents’ parenting styles are hitting rock bottom. That is because parents in this situation are becoming more and more submissive to anxiety and stress day by day. And that is not healthy for the children either.
Parents parenting styles are changing and becoming more and more unreasonable. You can’t parents them because they have to try their best to keep their kids safe. And even if they have to choose over mental and emotional pressure over physical health, parents would rather pay close attention to keeping their kids physically okay as much as they have to.
Children all over the world already suffered due to this disease. Unfortunately, until now, we still do not know how this would impact them mentally and emotionally. I wish that this pandemic thing would be over soon.
Raising your kids may seem like an easy and evident part of parenting. They love it when you tell them how great they are and how happy we are of their talents and abilities. However, when we talk about praise, it’s actually more than just boosting self-confidence. Child counselors agree that parents’ most critical responsibilities are to hone their children’s personalities and behavior. Children take praise as a prize in itself, and it is a means to enable them to learn which types of behaviors are appropriate. As a matter of fact, counselors have a common parenting instruction about praise – catch them being good!
Another suggestion is for parents to say at least ten positive statements to their kids for each negative response. It’s not that difficult, and it does not need to be complicated. Simply comment on an attitude that you like when you notice your child showing it. For instance, when you observe your two-year-old enjoying himself with his puzzles, you can say, “You’re doing so well, baby.”
Below are some effective ways of praising that will significantly help children become assertive, dependable, and confident.
How To Praise
Praise Each Child’s Specific Strengths. Your child would sometimes compare himself to other kids – to his siblings, friends, and schoolmates. He would think he fall short in, say, creating beautiful drawings or shooting a basketball. Try to make a little more effort in encouraging him. Tell him that the other kids just learned earlier and then shift the focus. “Jake is a good shooter, but I’ve noticed that you run and carry the ball really well.” This method enables kids to realize that they have strengths and that each of them is unique.
Look Them Straight In The Eyes. How you praise, your child is as crucial or even more crucial than the words you speak. Use a kind and sincere tone and always look at them when you’re talking to them. Whenever possible, level with them. Communicating this way boosts your child’s self-esteem.
Be Careful With Your Words. In complimenting, it is vital to utilize words that are suitable for your child’s developmental phase. In praising a baby, you can call her name softly, and she would smile at you. As she grows up, use words that replicate their experiences and evoke compassion and understanding. For instance, if your 2-year-old is motivated to dress up by herself but has trouble doing it, you could say, “I know you want so much to be a big girl and get in that pretty dress. Can I help you with that? You can wear your shoes by yourself instead.”
Praise And Determination
Don’t Exaggerate. If you overexert your compliments, you might lose your accountability. You can only say ‘great job’ or ‘I love this drawing’ too much before these words have so little purpose and meaning. If possible, be concise. Be more expressive. Say, “I love how you designed your flower pot, baby,” or, “You chose beautiful colors for your drawing, my love!”
Descriptive praises like the statements above will enable your child to know why he was complimented. And be sure that the behavior deserves a compliment. Kids can essentially distinguish hollow compliments from fake ones. More importantly, you do not necessarily have to praise them for every positive thing.
Focus On the Little Things. Kids are nurtured by attention. It makes them feel taken care of. When Kathy, mom of three from California, observes that her daughter, Callie, has gotten herself prepared for bed without being told to, she compliments her by buying her the books she always wanted. “But then I also realized that the task is something that she also needs to learn on her own,” says Kathy. “It gives me happiness and less stress, though, when I don’t have to force her to brush her teeth and change her clothes, so I felt that I should reward her with some of her favorites.”
You can also increase your child’s self-confidence by merely making a positive comment on what she’s doing, and she will still view this as a form of compliment. For example, “Thanks so much, Callie, for changing your clothes without waiting for me to tell you.”
Keep Your Child’s Head Held High. Determination is key, according to most child counselors. When your child tries something new, reassurance from you is tremendously important and wonderful.
For example, when your 5-year-old gets disappointed and discouraged while learning to tie her own hair, you can watch in the corner and compliment her for what she’s doing. You can say, “Great, that’s how you fix your hair with ribbons. I like it when I see you trying; even you seem to have trouble tightening them. But don’t worry. You’ll master that in time and soon you can do other complicated styles.” This sort of reassurance cultivates optimism. And we know very well that optimism, along with self-confidence, always go together.
When children manifest emotional flare-ups, this could indicate that they have not yet learned the necessary abilities to deal with their emotions like anger, disappointment, and anxiety. Managing serious emotions positively and maturely needs a range of abilities, including problem-solving, regulation of own emotions, impulse control, negotiating, delayed gratification, and conveying their needs and desires to parents and other adults.
Other children, though, could be struggling more with restrictions and obeying rules. They could be rebellious or neglect instructions and attempt to convince the adults to get what they want. You may also see behavioral patterns that seem to emerge at specific times during the day (like in the afternoon) while doing specific tasks (like doing a project). You might also notice that the child gets moody when she’s at home but not when she’s in school or the other way around.
Tantrums and some other types of acting out are frequently typical and even positive aspects of childhood. These are indications that your child is getting freer and more independent – signs that he is testing barriers, learning skills, and discovering his surroundings.
However, when your child is always acting out, it can strain your relationship with him, provoking constant bitterness and disappointment that is unhealthy for the entire family.
Outbursts Could Be Learned Responses
Some parents think that their child’s tantrums and other kinds of problem behavior are devious and deliberate. But experts who focus on children’s issues agree that these behaviors are not commonly voluntary but might be what we call a learned behavior. This implies that children discover that acting out will get them what they want.
To put it another way, a child who has trouble controlling her feelings may not be deliberately acting out. Still, he could think about doing so because he has not yet learned a more practical and healthy way of conveying his needs and solving his problems effectively. Kind parents often react to tantrums by struggling to fix the cause of the problem, and they do this by consoling their child or simply giving him whatever he is asking for. Sadly, this aggravates the rebellious behavior, encouraging their child to continue acting out. Consequently, they do not develop better strategies that can help them deal with their feelings.
How To Respond
When children present with an outburst, parents sometimes feel incapable. As a parent, you might have attempted to use various discipline styles, but they were ineffective. In fact, trying out numerous techniques for dealing with problem behavior can often worsen the problem, as children react better to strict boundaries that are persistently applied. If you have not seen an improvement, do not be frustrated, as parents are stronger than they think when children are rebellious. Using techniques and mechanisms based on counselors and psychologists’ recommendations, you can start helping your child improve their behavior and, ultimately, your relationship with your child.
You can respond at the moment by:
Keeping Calm. Insensitive responses are inclined to intensify your child’s aggressive behavior, whether it is physical or verbal.
Not Giving Up. Fight the temptation of ending your child’s outburst by giving him what he wants when she acts out. Surrendering to your child and the behavior will make him realize that his behavior is effective.
Wait For It To Pacify. Do not try to talk to your child when he is still angry. You want to encourage him to learn how to negotiate when he’s not irate and exploding.
Use Penalties Consistently. Your beloved kid has to learn more about the penalties or consequences for bad behavior, like face the wall and rewards for good behavior, like more time with gadgets. More importantly, be consistent by always following through.
Focusing On Specific Behaviors
If you are attempting to deal with unpleasant behavior, it is beneficial to recognize certain behaviors you want to modify or encourage. It is a fact that when a family feels overwhelmed, often, it feels like interactions become a struggle. But targeting behaviors is a critical initial step to efficient discipline.
Possible Triggers To Avoid
These behaviors often result in disobedience:
Inquiring brisk questions or providing a sequence of instructions: This avoids the possibility that kids will listen, recall tasks, answer questions, and do what they are told to.
Yelling at your child to tell them what to do: Give instructions face-to-face. When you call them out from a distance, they will most probably not understand and remember the task you want them to do.
Making a transition without a heads-up: Transitions may be tough for children, especially if they are doing something that they are enjoying. When they are warned about it ahead of time, they have a chance to stop and think about it, making the transition less daunting.
Possible Triggers To Acknowledge
These behaviors often encourage obedience and compliance:
Giving a heads-up when transitioning: As much as possible, prepare your child for a forthcoming transition. For instance, give him ten minutes to be at the table for dinner or on his desk for homework.
Being clear with your expectations: Be concise about what you expect from your child. You might think that your child should know your expectations, but clarifying what you really want will help neutralize or reduce mix-ups and confusion in the long term.
Giving your child a choice: As your child grows up, they must have an opinion about their daily routine and schedule. You can ask him if he would prefer eating dinner before taking a shower or vice versa. Giving them a voice can tremendously help empower your child and encourage him to become more confident and free.
Raising a child is probably one of the biggest challenges people, especially parents, face in their life. To become a parent means more than providing necessities such as food, clothing, and shelter.
Parenting comes with a lot of significant responsibilities and decision-making. It also means having the capacity to provide unlimited and unconditional love and support to your children.
The first touchpoint of newborns in their life is their parents. Parents play a huge role in the growth and development of a child. Every little thing a child notices or sees in the familial environment they are growing up in influences them as they age.
It may be something minor, such as mannerisms, or something more significant, such as speaking or eating habits. Children are great at picking up social cues and behavior at home.
There is a famous saying that education is one of the most important gifts parents can bestow to their kids. So when it comes to their children’s education, parents are also almost always involved.
Parents look for the best school, academy, or program to enroll their children. Often, it is the same school or place where their parents graduated.
Entering a college or university is probably one of the proudest moments for parents as their children complete school each year. Choosing a career path is one of the most vital decisions a child has to make.
We often hear cases wherein parents decide for their kids, but times have evolved and changed since then. Most parents now give their children the freedom and support to choose on their own.
There are many fields to choose a potential career from in college, whether in the healthcare industry, the business industry, etc. Recently, the medical field is met with increasing demand. Many childrenmajor in Psychology and further pursue medicine, law, or even business.
Should your child grow an interest in psychology, here are some essential things to know.
What are the seven types of psychology?
The seven types of psychology are as follows:
How many types of psychologists are there?
There are generally 20 types of psychologists around the world. These include social, forensic, developmental, and cognitive psychologists, among others.
What are the branches of psychology?
Some branches of psychology include:
Is Psychology hard to study?
Psychology is known to be a very lucrative degree. It isn’t easy, regardless of what field of psychology you are studying. A great deal of examinations, course activities, and discussions are waiting for you in psychology.
Can a psychologist have tattoos?
Being a tattooed psychologist is completely fine, and small and detectible images on your wrist or ankle are not that big a deal. However, displaying more than that, though, will depend on the guidelines set in your workplace.
But do not think that your professional image will rule your entire life. If you want to get a tattoo, then get one.
Which branch of psychology is the best?
Most psychologists agree that there is no single branch of psychology that is better than the other. However, clinical psychology makes up the largest branch of the whole of psychology.
Clinical psychologists evaluate, diagnose, and manage mental health disorders. They often work in private clinics, group practices, mental health facilities, and hospitals.
What is the highest paid psychologist?
Below are the top-paying psychologists:
What is the best type of psychologist?
Clinical psychologists are among the best types of psychologists, followed by psychiatrists, organizational psychologists, and private counselors. Current data projects an estimated 14% rise in the need for psychologists up until 2026.
What do psychologists make annually?
Last May 2018, the average yearly salary for counseling, clinical, and school psychologists was more than $85,000 yearly, as per the Bureau of Labor Statistics. The bottom 10%of workers had less than $44,000, and the top 10% earn over $129,000.
How long is a psychology degree?
To practice clinical psychology, you are required to get an undergraduate degree, which takes about four to five college years, followed by a doctorate, which you can finish in more or less seven years in postgraduate school.
Hence, most aspiring clinical psychologists will have spent around 8 to 12 years of their lives in higher education for this field.
Who is the father of psychology?
Wilhelm Maximilian Wundt is the father of experimental psychology. He founded the first psychology laboratory and consequently had a tremendous influence on psychology’s progress as a discipline, particularly in America.
What are the six major psychological theories?
The six major psychological theories include behaviorism, psychoanalysis, ecological, humanism, evolutionary, and cognitivism.
Is Psychology a good career?
If your passion is in solving theoretical or practical problems, then getting a psychology degree may be a suitable option for you. Other psychologists concentrate on helping people overcome difficult emotional issues or create solutions for real-life problems.
What are the five fields of psychology?
The five fields of psychology include clinical psychology, biopsychology, counseling psychology, cognitive psychology, and comparative psychology.
Psychology As A Career: Final Thoughts
Psychology is an ongoing growing field, not only in the medical industry but also in education and research. There is an increase in demand for psychologists as many people open up about their mental health struggles.
Mental health has been a highly prejudiced topic. People are afraid to talk about the challenges and difficulties of having psychological conditions. Society used to, if not still, look down on these suffering individuals with disappointment and negative judgment.
With psychologists’ help, many people can now get the support they need to function normally back into the community.
Psychology studies patterns of human behavior, emotions, and reactions to gain insight into how human minds work.
Psychologists work with a lot of theories and principles to understand an individual’s mental capacity. They look at all the possible root causes of trauma and work with their patients to resolve their concerns and problems.
Whether you are a student or a parent who wants to help their child choose a career, psychology is worth looking at.
If you are leaning towards finding a job in the healthcare industry and you love working with people, you may want to become a psychologist. However, as aforementioned in the article, psychology can also cover other potential career aspects.
With different types of and different fields in psychology, you can explore manyoptions for work. Psychology is not only clinical.
A psychologist may also work as a counselor, especially as a school counselor. There are many troubled children in school, and they require help.
You may also work in human resources for companies, in sports, and in research. The choices are limitless.
Being a parent is both satisfying and exhausting. There are times that you feel so happy and contented because you know you have your kids around. You can spend time with them and learn more about their personalities. You also have the chance to engage in their world as they develop their skills and overall emotional and mental strength.
However, despite the happiness you get, you can’t deny that you feel exhausted most of the time with all the responsibilities that come with parenting. Sometimes, you get too overwhelmed that you tend to lose control over your mental and emotional strength. With that, you suffer from series of health conditions, including stress, anxiety, and fatigue.
At first, I thought fatigue is just a physical manifestation of the chores I do every day. But with some of the frequently asked questions, I realized that there is more to it than meets the eye. Here are some of the answers I gather about fatigue and anxiety.
Is fatigue a symptom of anxiety?
Yes. Physical exhaustion or fatigue is another potential symptom of anxiety disorder since the mental condition is commonly associated with hyperactivity. It causes ups and downs in the body’s energy levels. In some cases, fatigue follows an anxiety attack and can be chronic for others.
It would be an excellent help if you were mindful that it is important to seek immediate help when you experienced fatigue with anxiety. Please do not ignore the symptoms as they can escalate into a series of health conditions.
Can anxiety make you tired all the time?
Definitely! Since anxiety disrupts the brain’s functions, it can make you mentally and emotionally exhausted as it causes your brain to work overtime. That explains why people feel unable to function even if they have not done much physical work.
Perhaps that is due to the emotional, and mental agony one tries to deal with. Thus, it can be concluded that not because there is no sign of physical exhaustion does not mean that a person will not experience fatigue.
How do I overcome anxiety and fatigue?
Overcoming anxiety and fatigue needs to start with a clear perspective. Change the way you think about fatigue and not blame it exclusively on lack of sleep or overworked. Instead, increase your physical activity level, reduce caffeine intake, stay hydrated, watch what you eat, and get enough sleep.
Remember, fatigue can have different forms. It can come from physical, mental, and emotional. It would be best if you understood where your exhaustion comes from so that you can find better ways to manage it.
Does stress cause extreme fatigue?
Yes. Too much stress can come from physical, mental, and emotional issues. And fatigue is a known symptom of mental health problems, such as anxiety, grief, and depression. It gets accompanied by other symptoms, including irritability, isolation, and lack of motivation.
If you think you are dealing with an overall imbalance, you should seek professional advice as soon as possible.
What are the three types of fatigue?
The three types of fatigue include transient or the inability of muscles to maintain optimal bodily performance. Next is cumulative that usually comes from the repeated mild sleep restriction or extended waking hours across a series of days. Lastly, there is a circadian where there is a disruption in the body’s regeneration cycle.
What are the five emotional signs of stress?
The most common emotional symptoms of stress include anxiety, moodiness, loneliness, feeling overwhelmed, and depression.
If ever you experienced one or more of these, please consult a health care provider right away.
How do I get rid of the stress in my life?
There is no shortcut to removing stress in your life because it is inevitable. However, you can always manage it with some of these tips: getting enough sleep, exercise regularly, drinking enough water, eating healthy foods, taking supplements, and quitting smoking and alcohol consumption. You can also relieve stress by going out for a walk, exploring nature, gardening, or spending time with friends and family.
Basically, you have to work on the best options that suit your needs. As long as you practice self-care and self-awareness, you will gather all the necessary coping methods to get rid of your stress in life.
How to notice if I am having a nervous breakdown?
You can easily tell that you are having a nervous breakdown when you experience constant depressive symptoms. These include the intense feeling of loneliness and isolation and sometimes having thoughts of self-harm and suicide. In unfortunate instances, you also experience restlessness, extreme mood swings, trembling, insomnia, and hallucinations.
If you’re not sure about the symptoms you might be experiencing, seek a piece of advice from a medical expert.
Can anxiety cause body aches?
Yes. Anxiety can have physical manifestations such as headaches, muscle tension, body soreness. That is because the body gets tense, and muscles begin to develop uncomfortable symptoms that may be all familiar.
What does anxiety physically feel like?
Anxiety can potentially show enough and good physical signs. Its physical responses are the ones preparing you to face an extreme situation. However, when it gets too intense, you might start to feel a little nauseous and lightheaded.
How can you reduce the physical symptoms of anxiety?
The best way to reduce anxiety is to focus on self-care. Always maintain a good night’s sleep, so your mind and body can have enough time to rejuvenate. It would help if you also cut back on your alcohol and caffeine consumption since these can cause an imbalance in your health when taken too much. Quit smoking, and stay physically active as much as possible. If you can, you should practice deep breathing and meditate.
What does anxiety pain feel like?
Anxiety can cause a serious mental and emotional strain on your health. However, it can physically manifest, as well. It can make you faint and can make you feel dizzy. Anxiety can also make cause sudden chest pain that is frequently described as a sharp, stabbing sensation. These are what expert calls psychosomatic symptoms.
Can anxiety make you feel weird?
Anxiety can cause numbness, shakiness, and tingling that are commonly felt on the face, arms, hands, feet, and legs. Often, it makes you feel weird that you cannot even describe the instant changes that are happening all over your body. In some unfortunate instances, when you feel anxious, your heart rate speeds up, you get so sweaty, your body is trembling, and you feel uncomfortable even just standing or sitting.
Does anxiety go away if you ignore it?
No. Ignoring your anxiety will do nothing. It will not reduce it, nor take it away. Relentless thoughts can linger as long as it wants. However, there is a chance that you can potentially eliminate anxiety at mild levels. The severe ones are expected to stay and will require the necessary treatment and medication.
Is it my heart or anxiety?
Acute anxiety is somehow comparable to a heart attack for some individuals who cannot entirely identify their mental and physical condition since many of the symptoms can seem the same. Perhaps that is because both conditions accompany symptoms such as chest pain, shortness of breath, sweating, increased heartbeat, dizziness, fatigue, and even temporary paralysis.
In our early childhood, we are all vulnerable, weak, and incapable of doing many things. We are children that are so fragile that they could get hurt anytime without warning. Everything around us is too much and feels mysterious, making our life out of control and sometimes unmanageable. That is why our need for protection and a hunger for a father, in all circumstances, is entirely natural. Perhaps that is because a father appears to us as immensely impressive, strong, and capable. It is as if he knows and can do almost anything that is beyond astonishing.
However, the paradox of daddy issues tends to differ in all our experiences. That is because some of us, despite having one around, still feel emotionally and mentally left out. Well, we can’t blame anyone for that. We can never convince people to believe that their degree of emotional and mental issues is not that serious because, at some point, what they feel is valid. It gets supported by the complexity of sadness, emptiness, and longings.
Physically Abusive Father – A daddy issue can come from many forms of emotional and mental abuse. However, the common root of them all is physical abuse. It is a behavior that most of us consider “rightful” because the physically abusive one is the household’s most authoritative individual. Somehow, we justify our father’s hurtful actions because we believe that he is entitled to do that. Whatever damages his physical abuse may bring to our overall development, we think that it is okay because he is our dad, after all. Sadly, we take that mentality to adulthood, where we find ourselves acknowledging the behavior. As a result, we allow physical abuse to become present in our romantic relationships.
Absent Father – There are a lot of reasons why some of us have an absent father. It could be because our mother hates our father that much that she doesn’t want him anywhere near us. Or perhaps it is because of personal instances like our father going to prison or war. Or maybe he just decided that he doesn’t want a family, so he vanished. Whatever the reason is, there are tons of it that we can think of. But despite understanding some of the possible situations, a daddy issue can still stir up because of the emptiness we feel inside. It leads to the creation of an unrealistic fatherly image that we eventually input in our minds. And as we grow up, we stick to that idea.
No-Care-At-All Father – Again, not because our father lives with us in one roof, that does not mean he is capable of fatherhood. Sometimes, there are instances that it is more likely convenient for us if he is not around. That is because of his no-care-at-all attitude that puts us in a different mix of emotions. Of course, it is understandable that some of our life issues are ours alone. However, as we grow up, there is a need for a father-image to guide us in every decision we make. When our father is disinterested in providing emotional and mental support, it damages our overall self-awareness. And as we venture to adulthood, we tend to view ourselves as unworthy of anyone’s attention. Thus, the more we prefer self-isolation.
Financially Manipulative Father – For some of us, we see a father as financial support. Honestly, there is nothing wrong with that. In fact, it is their sole obligation to ensure that financial problems are well-sorted out. However, things can turn differently when our dad uses that obligation to mark entitlement and power. So whenever he feels angry and aggressive towards us for no reason, forgiveness becomes a must. Though, I’m not saying that we shouldn’t consider that as an option. But constantly excusing our father from physically, emotionally, mentally hurting us just because he is the provider is somehow unfair. It can take a toll on our adulthood stage because it can make us think that whoever puts food on the table will hold the powerful spot despite being unsympathetic.
Unloving Father – It is normal for us to long for a father. That explains why we feel the need to search for one whenever we experience an unfortunate situation. But our longing is not due to a lack of a fatherly image. Instead, it is a consequence of abandonment we feel emotionally. Our need to search for a fatherly image relates to our perception of a physically powerful male protection that can also care and love at the same time. Without it, we feel inclined to different patterns of behavior and emotional response. That explains why we secretly yearn for a gentleman to step in and hope to fulfill the unextinguished fantasy role we have about our dad.
A perfect father doesn’t exist. However, there is always this good one that acknowledges his incapability and imperfections. And that is more than enough.
Have you ever asked yourself why you are the type of person you are right now? Well, depending on the household you grew up with, the way you build your character is based on your understanding of things around you. As cliché as it sounds, everything about your personality has something to do with your family’s impact on your childhood.
When you look at your parents together, there is this ideology that they are meant for each other. Unfortunately, that is not often the case. Since divorce rates are skyrocketing, there is a vast chance that you also end up with a broken family. So if your parents separate, especially when you are still young, you might expect more from your relationship when you grow up. A broken marriage always impacts your personality. It changes your relationship demands, making you want a higher degree of morality, attention, loyalty, and compassion. Though it may quite seem reasonable, it takes a toll over time. It makes you less likely to trust other people, making you more doubtful and confused in a relationship.
Overly Attached Parents
It is usual for parents to show their love and affection through constant concerns. But when your parents are overly attached to you, there is a tendency that you may grow up codependent. That is because you get used to your family doing almost everything for you. Yes, they may mean well as they believe that what they are doing is always what is best for you. However, this particular practice has harmful side effects. You would more likely to grow up unable to make decisions for your own. You will experience a troubled life as an adult because you become more reliant with people. You will have more problems adapting to simple work life.
As a child, you believe that parents always know best. That is why you tend to follow and listen to their commands. However, when your parents are more authoritarian, it leads to damaging effects. When you grow up with parents who make all the decisions for you without considering your feelings, you develop mental illness. Usually, anxiety and depression come in because this type of parenting experience can make you assume that you are not competent enough to do things on your own. Often, your parents that do not listen to you and force you to do something that makes you unhappy results in having feelings of worthlessness. It also feeds your low-self-esteem, which follows you through adulthood.
Noisy And Loud Household
Contrary to what other people think, a noisy household does not promote a better family relationship. It does not, at any cost, represent better communication. When you and your family are regularly on this crack of expressing yourselves through frequent arguments, it does not guarantee an improved understanding. Typically, this type of family relationship impacts you as you grow older. When everybody in the family focuses on expressing themselves without listening to others’ opinions, it creates chaos. There is a tendency that this type of communication results in self-centeredness and close-mindedness.
Emotional abuse in the family is a discreet problem. No one can determine whether you are experiencing it in your home. Unfortunately, an emotionally abusive family relationship among you, your parents, and siblings often end up in negative adjustments. When you grow up in a household full of hostility, there is a tendency that you will apply those undesirable traits to your wife or husband and kids. That is because emotional abuse tends to alter the way you see things. It makes you dwell on the cynical perspective that getting emotionally hurt is somehow okay. And as you deal with other people, you will stick to the idea that emotions are the only core of every decision-making, which is unlikely near the truth.
Some people understand that it is illegal to spank a child because it is seen as physical abuse. It creates harmful side effects, depending on the severity of the damage. Usually, it ranges from emotional, physical, and mental disabilities. When your parents often try to influence your behavior by imposing physical punishment, things can sometimes go either good or bad. It may cause you to become more resilient, inconsiderate, and unpredictable. But at some point, it can also teach you discipline, perseverance, and endurance. Physical punishment is not all wrong. However, depending on how your parents will impose, it is a different story.
Your personality is not from the combination of good and bad traits you want to have. You are you because of your environment, social connection, and upbringing. But it is also important to note that whether good or bad personality, only you can make up your mind and decide which traits should stay and which ones should be removed.
As the COVID-19 pandemic continues to shift everybody’s lives, your children must have many questions for you. And as a parent, you want to keep your children involved and informed at all times so they wouldn’t feel left out in the conversation. But it can be hard to find the right balance of giving information and overwhelming them with the truth. So how can you talk with your children about the recent pandemic? Here are some tips you can use.
Talk To Your Children Calmly And Reassuringly
According to Jacqueline Sperling, Ph.D., “It is important to model calmness when talking about the virus. Children will look to you to see how afraid they should be.” Therefore, if you’re trying to speak to them on why they can’t go outside and need to take precautions during this time, do it calmly and with a composed attitude.
Explain to your children that young people like them are less likely to catch the virus. Reassure them that this situation is only temporary and that many professionals are working hard to help get people’s lives back to normal. Make them feel safe and notify them that the people they care about are safe, too, since children tend to worry more about others than themselves.
Be Truthful And Allow Them To Lead The Discussion
Don’t use complex answers to their questions. As much as possible, make it concise and straightforward so that your children can quickly grasp the information you’re giving them. Too much information can create more fear and anxiety. Only provide honest responses. Your children also deserve to know how they can keep themselves safe, and if any of their loved ones are at risk of getting the virus.
Only provide information that your children asked. Allow them to lead the conversation. It can help you level with their cognitive maturity and avoid giving scary details that they may not be curious about. It’s okay if your children don’t seem interested in the pandemic. Do also prevent yourself from using language that may seem harmful to other races or cultures to avoid generating hate to particular groups of people.
If there are questions that you don’t know the answer to, then research about it. Go to reliable health organizations’ websites to get facts like the World Health Organization (WHO) and the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC).
Give Them Responsibility
Giving your children power and responsibility allows them to do better and make decisions that are beneficial to others. Make them feel in control by providing them specific things to do. For example, inform them that they should wash their hands for 20 seconds or as long as it takes to finish the “Happy Birthday” song twice.
Tell them that they should get lots of sleep, eat healthy meals, and exercise to avoid contracting the disease. Be a good role model and perform these tasks as well.
You can also inform them why many people seem to be wearing masks and prevent getting physically close together. Tell them that it helps to stop the spread of the virus and that they should practice it. Remind them to clean their devices like cell phones or tablets often or to not cough or sneeze without a mask or handkerchief. And if they have to do so, it’s much better to do it with their elbows.
Tell Them That It’s Okay Not To Feel Okay
Tell your children that their emotions are valid and that it’s okay to feel stressed. Starting this conversation early on prevents them from thinking that there’s something wrong about feeling such things, which is not the case. Recognizing these overwhelming emotions and understanding that challenging times will pass can build resilience as they grow older.
It can help if you make yourself accessible and ask how they often feel so they can open their feelings to you much more relaxed. Some children can easily express how they feel while some don’t. So it will be natural if you continuously check on them and give them space to share their fears. Let them know that they can always come to you for answers and confide when things are getting scary.
Your children will need your warmth and love, especially at a trying time like this. The following days will be different and hard for all of us as we go through the “new normal.” And as a parent, you, too, have your share of doubts and anxiety. Take care of yourself. You and your family will get through this. Have faith. Use this time to keep your family closer and stronger together.