We’ve all been one seat over from the cell phone user who’s broadcasting his or her life to everyone within earshot. Or… talked with a friend when he or she suddenly stops to take a call from someone obviously more important than you. Or… watched a parent walking with their child, only the parent is on the phone.

Yes, cell phone manners – what should they be? This new technology is so new on the scene that we haven’t agreed as a culture on what cell phone behavior is OK and what is rude when we are around other people. Manners are the social grease that enable people to occupy the same space without creating a lot of negative energy. You know, saying “Please” when you want something and “Thank You” when you get it. Manners let other people know that you are not so self-centered that you believe that you are the most important and only person in the room. Manners keep us from being rude. So do we need to teach our kids cell phone manners? I think so. Here are a few stories:

Twelve year old Marissa was having a birthday party on Saturday. All was going great with her girlfriends and they were chattering away and enjoying the activities. About half way through the birthday gathering, a cell phone rang. The owner reached for it quickly, flipped it on and in a nanosecond every other girl who had a cell phone got theirs out and was checking it also. The whole social focus of the group was gone. They weren’t enjoying each other anymore, someone else was obviously more important.

A piano teacher’s lesson is under way. Her student’s cell phone rings. He stops playing and answers his phone.

Here’s my plug for two needed cell phone manners:

1. Don’t automatically answer the phone when you are in the middle of a conversation with another person (and yes I’d include piano lessons.)
2. Do not answer the phone when you are socializing in a small group (and yes, this includes family dinners.)

It’s not easy teaching kids manners. Parents have to be very deliberate and give kids a chance to practice and parents have to set a good example. The drive to answer your cell phone is very strong. Our brains are hard-wired to seek connection with other people and nothing screams connection more than a cell phone. Our impulse is to answer.

Here are a couple of other tips to try:

• Try creating “Cell Phone Free Zones” in your home. Have everyone drop their cell phone into a basket before dinner time.
• Create blocks of time when the cell phones are off or in a basket.
• Teach your kids not to automatically answer their phone when they are talking to someone.
• Sit down with your child and figure out when talking on a cell phone would be rude.
• Role play.

Cell phones are great connectors with “out of sight” people. We need to learn not to be rude to those folks right beside us.

What cell phone manners would you teach?