This does not mean the Institute’s thought-provoking work, research and advocacy will be ending. We’re already engaged in discussions with both national and local non-profits interested in carrying on our programs, including Say Yes To No ®, Switch ® and through-u ®.  I am very confident that our programs’ new homes will continue to educate parents and caregivers.

I feel honored to have had the privilege of leading an organization that has accomplished so much during the past thirteen years.  One of the core questions guiding the Institute’s work and mission has been, “what sort of future do we want for our kids?”  We’ve been privileged to engage parents, teachers, doctors, coaches, and other caring adults in the important work of answering this question.  We’ve met many of you in living rooms, school auditoriums, board rooms, press rooms, in the halls of Congress, places of worship, and coffee shops to explore the powerful role of digital technologies in children’s lives today – and to give shape and voice to a future where families have the tools they need to navigate this new digital world successfully.

Thank you for partnering with us to make these compelling visions of the future a reality.  We’ve accomplished a lot of amazing things in the last thirteen years.  And in that same amount of time there has been unprecedented technological innovation and an ever-increasing number of screens in young people’s lives, making the Institute’s mission just as relevant today as when we started.  So while this chapter of the Institute’s work is coming to a close, I am excited to transition the Institute’s programs to organizations that will continue to foster the same important conversations and bring relevant solutions to parents.  I will keep you posted as these conversations evolve.

As for myself, retirement is not in my vocabulary.  I will continue to speak and write on topics related to parenting in the 21st century.  I am very grateful for your support which has enabled us to accomplish so much for children and families throughout the years.  I look forward to continuing that work with you.

Sincerely,

David Walsh, Ph.D.
Founder
National Institute on Media and the Family

This wasn’t such a big deal when we only watched an hour or so of TV a day, we could keep it in perspective.  But now, the average screen time for our nation’s kids is 44.5 hours a week — the problem now is that all that horn blowing starts to feel like it IS our lives.

Our attention has shifted from the things we should really be focusing on, that over the long haul will make us healthy and well adjusted: balance, eating healthy, playing a little video game but not all the time, checking facebook once or twice a day, but not spending hours when I should be doing homework.  Over-the-top media use doesn’t seem like a real problem, not compared to murder, for goodness sakes!  If my child eeks through another Halloween not succumbing to poison candy, I can feel like a good Mom.  Whew.

This is why it’s so hard to be a good parent in the 21st Century.  No one is talking about what it really takes, hard work, patience, discipline — boring.  Can’t blow a whistle and stay up in the ratings for something like that.

But the National Institute on Media and the Family is blowing the whistle for some of these kind of strong parenting moments that we should pay attention to.  Hundereds of parents are turning out to learn more.  We’re going to share these stories with you, stay tuned.

And if you’re still not convinced about the real threats to our children, read this report from the Pediatric Journal (if you haven’t already) — the violence and madness that most of our kids experience isn’t even in the real world, it’s on the flickering screen right in the center of our homes.  And we can do something about that.  Let’s do.  I just blew the whistle.

On Wednesday I’m going to share a story about a mom whose whole outlook on parenting changed in one weekend after a Say Yes to No workshop.  You don’t want to miss that.

And I’d love it if you’d share some of the parenting issues you’re facing.  What’s driving you crazy?  What’s working?  What’s the whistle that really gets your attention?

Author, Jenny Buck, Development Director of the National Institute on Media and the Family and mother of 2 teen sons.

Here’s a direct quote from the AAP Policy statement on Media Violence:  “The evidence is now clear and convincing: media violence is 1 of the causal factors of real-life violence and aggression.  Therefore, pediatricians and parents need to take action.”

At the National Institute on Media and the Family, we’ve been doing research and sounding the alarms about the effect of media violence on children and youth for years.  It’s clearly time to take action, because the cause and effect is real, in fact this report highlights that the strength of the association between media violence and aggressive behavior is greater than the association between lead ingestion and lower IQ, condom nonuse and sexually acquired HIV, and nearly as strong as smoking and lung cancer!  I know I for one regularly talk to my sons about not smoking, have open lines of communication about safe sex, and certainly have removed any lead that I know about.

So how come violent media still fills our children’s televisions, computers, video game players and ipods?

In this season of checking our kids’ candy for poison and washing our hands after every contact … how about adding “turn off recreational violence” to that list?  It’s a children’s health issue.

Every parent and teacher should read this report, you can get it right here.  Read it.  Pass it on.  Let’s help the pediatricians spread the word and pass on a less violent world to our kids.

Author, Jenny Buck, Development Director of the National Institute on Media and the Family and mother of 2 teenage sons.

Research proves it.  Self-discipline is twice as strong a predictor of school success as intelligence.  But kids don’t naturally learn this — especially in today’s consumer culture.  It’s up to parents to help develop this critical trait.

That’s why the National Institute on Media and the Family created Say Yes to No, to raise kids with a reservoir of self-discipline that iwll help them in school and for their whole lives.  We’re really excited about this.  About two years ago we launched the Say Yes to No conversation based on Dr. David Walsh’s book, No, Why Kids — Of All Ages — Need to Hear It and Ways Parents Can Say It.  Since then parents and teachers have been asking “What do we do next?”

The answer?  Say Yes to No, A Parent Program to Raise Happy,
Self-Reliant Kids.

This new program is a series of 5 workshops filled with practical strategies to help parents.  It’s also a community movement that’s sweeping across the nation and it’s ready to land in your community to day.  In the 5 workshops parents will explore the 12 big ideas to raising successful kids:

What makes Say Yes to No so unique and important is that there’s a role for each one of us — when we work together as a community we can change the future for all of us.  Now that is exciting!  And stay tuned right here to our blog, we’re going to track the progress and have conversations about how our kids are thriving!

Parents – get your school, faith community, or neighborhood involved.
Teacher and Educators – get trained in Say Yes to No.

About the author:  Jenny Buck is the Director of Development for the National Institute on Media and the Family and the mother of 2 teenage sons.

So I am particularly pleased to share some big news with you — because of the tireless work of the Campaign for a Commercial-Free Childhood and its followers, Walt Disney Company, the maker of Baby Einstein, has agreed to reimburse customers who bought these videos mistakenly thinking they would make their children smarter.  That’s an amazing success and I congratulate the CCFC for this important victory that will benefit babies everywhere.

Here’s a link to the CCFC website that has all the details on how to get your money back from Disney.  And spread the word, parents need to know about this!

Dr. Dave

I listened to a webinar put on by YPulse last week – Ypulse is a youth marketing and research organization and their web site flashes ads with things like “Connecting Brands with Youth”. Now, I have to add my disclaimer here that I don’t like the idea of marketing directly to Teens and Tweens. I think their lives are tricky enough, navigating school, friends and developing into good adults and all. Making them feel like they need more stuff and specifically “my cool stuff” gives me the heebie-jeebies.

But companies in the US do market to tweens and teens, because combined they are a $140 Billion dollar industry, and they influence another $370 Billion in spending (read: make their parents buy stuff). Wow, that’s a lot of money.

So I listened to learn what companies know about my kids that I don’t. I took ten pages of notes during this webinar and I’ll probably end up writing a series of posts.

Here at the National Institute on Media and the Family, Dr. Dave Walsh talks about kids living in the media generation of “More, Easy, Fast and Fun” – today I want to talk about the Fast.

At one point in the webinar the speaker said, “Teens want immediacy, instant gratification so online buying is hard for them. It takes too long.” I got a little shivery feeling, when I was a kid, I had to wait, usually until my birthday or Christmas to get anything and my kids can’t even tolerate shipping time?

• 85% of teens have a cell phone and using instant text messages to reach friends,
• anywhere, anytime, a majority of kids watch favorite shows online, whenever they want to watch,
• Internet brings any piece of information and friends to them right now and 99% of teens use social networking sites to interact with friends.

Almost anything is available at the click of their fingers. Is it any wonder that FAST has taken root like creeping Charlie out in your yard?

So why not Fast?

Too much Fast gets in the way of kids learning about patience, waiting, longing, hard work that pays off later – these are critical attributes to living a successful life. Relationships, jobs, even school depend on these things. All this Fast radically changes parenting, if you ask me. So what can we do to counteract it?

• Slow down, even just a little.
• Try to think of one thing that you and your family can set a goal toward and anticipate.  Maybe it’s saving the money for a trip you take a year from now.  Maybe it’s waiting until a birthday to buy that new video game.
• Take the time to really map out a school project with your child, one that isn’t due for awhile, with the steps for getting it done over time.

Ok, one more thing about YPulse. They also do some interesting work about what motivates youth to engage in social causes and that’s important. We’d love to hear some of your ideas for building patience and waiting in our Fast culture. Why don’t you share one?

A number of years ago, she and her husband consciously built a rule around screens because they didn’t want their children’s family hang-out time to center around evening screens, like they felt their childhood had. You know that “lets watch our favorite show after supper” routine.

So they created No Screen Prime Time from 7:00 p.m. to 9:00 p.m.- and they did other things together like games, homework, and reading. No screens, — not TV, not computer, not cell phone- NONE! And that was for the parents, too, and not even research for homework gets a waiver, so plan ahead!! So, I explored a little. The definition of Prime includes: one of the most important, and of the greatest relevance or significance. So the question I am grappling with today is: do I ever want to call anything on a screen my family’s Prime Time?

I don’t, so my challenge to you is this: Claim your Prime Time! Decide what it is that deserves your family’s most important and significant time. For a lot of families, the time after supper is the only time in a day that you’re all together- so whats your Prime Time? Maybe its a movie or show, but maybe– on some days it’s not!

I think tonight, I’m going to suggest a game of Bannanagrams (and if you haven’t ever played it, I highly recommend it), and you can even buy it on Amazon through the National Institute on Media and the Family’s website and you’ll make a small gift to the Institute, too, if you order through this link!

http://www.mediafamily.org/store/shop_and_support.shtml

Hey, why don’t you share some of your favorite Prime Time activities with us and post a comment!

Jenny Buck

About the author: Jenny Buck is the Development Director at the National Institute on Media and the Family and parent of 2 teenage sons.

Or do you ever feel like your child goes off to school or a play date and returns home seeming to have received some expert technical training on “how to manipulate my parents” from their friends or who knows who else?

Access to information – and being bombarded by marketing messages – abounds, both in our lives and in our children’s lives and it’s more important than ever to have a strategy for your family about what’s really important to you.

One of my co-workers has an interesting strategy that helps diffuse a situation when one of her children comes at her with a request or desire that needs to be dealt with.  When her kids were little she and her husband crafted the Buck Family Constitution.  When someone wants or needs something, they go back to that Constitution to gain a little perspective and a little value about what’s important in their family.

Jenny said, “The kids were really little, maybe two and three, and we were already feeling the pressure of getting and doing more and more all the time.  We would run errands and one of the boys would inevitably fall apart because they wanted a new toy, a candy bar or time at a friend’s house.  So my husband and I spent some time really thinking about what our values are, and what we want to convey to our kids that will help them be more than consumers, but thinking, responsible people.  We wrote the Buck Family Constitution, printed it on some beautiful paper and then we each painted one of our hands and made our mark on that paper.  We framed it and it hangs right over our kitchen table where we have breakfast every morning.  It defines what kind of people we’re striving to be – and when one of us has an issue or a desire it can be a very helpful tool to refer to as we grapple together with something like “do I have to mow the lawn before I play with Kenny?”   We certainly don’t measure up to everything that’s on that Constitution every day, but it’s a good reminder about how we’re trying to live.”

Do you have any interesting principles that work for your family that you’d be willing to share with me?

As parents and educators we play a big role in helping our nation’s kids be inspired, stay on track and be prepared for a bright future. This can be a tall order in this digital world where our kids are coming of age — in a culture of consumerism, screen time and immediate gratification. Here are ten important actions you can take right now to help set up children for success.

The Top 10 Tips to Raise Happy, Self-Reliant Kids:

1. Spend twice as much time and half as much money

2. Support; don’t rescue. Encourage; don’t coddle.

3. Get them what they need but not everything they want.

4. Back up teachers and schools.

5. Take charge of media.

6. Set clear and high expectations.

7. Give chores.

8. Set and enforce limits and consequences.

9. Encourage volunteering.

10.Become a Say Yes to No parent

Visit http://www.sayyestono.org/index.html

Getting the best out of our kids will take all of us. Are you ready?

Dr. Dave

And sometimes, we don’t give their impact much thought.  TV, the Internet, videogames, music…all play significant roles in how we spend our time.  To set kids up for school success, make sure this media time is well spent.  Create smart media rules for your kids, so they can use digital tools for creativity, connecting with friends and family, to learn about their world, and yes, to have fun and relax.

Smart media rules keep your child in control and keep media use in balance.  As school ramps up, our busy lives just get busier.  Without smart media rules, our kids may not be getting the benefits of media they need.  Our Back to School Tune Up Guide will help you, the parent, make sure that your child is ready to learn and jumps off to a successful start at school.

What are your top 3 smart media rules?

-Dr. Dave

National Institute on Media and the Family