As parents and educators we play a big role in helping our nation’s kids be inspired, stay on track and be prepared for a bright future. This can be a tall order in this digital world where our kids are coming of age — in a culture of consumerism, screen time and immediate gratification. Here are ten important actions you can take right now to help set up children for success.

The Top 10 Tips to Raise Happy, Self-Reliant Kids:

1. Spend twice as much time and half as much money

2. Support; don’t rescue. Encourage; don’t coddle.

3. Get them what they need but not everything they want.

4. Back up teachers and schools.

5. Take charge of media.

6. Set clear and high expectations.

7. Give chores.

8. Set and enforce limits and consequences.

9. Encourage volunteering.

10.Become a Say Yes to No parent

Visit http://www.sayyestono.org/index.html

Getting the best out of our kids will take all of us. Are you ready?

Dr. Dave

And sometimes, we don’t give their impact much thought.  TV, the Internet, videogames, music…all play significant roles in how we spend our time.  To set kids up for school success, make sure this media time is well spent.  Create smart media rules for your kids, so they can use digital tools for creativity, connecting with friends and family, to learn about their world, and yes, to have fun and relax.

Smart media rules keep your child in control and keep media use in balance.  As school ramps up, our busy lives just get busier.  Without smart media rules, our kids may not be getting the benefits of media they need.  Our Back to School Tune Up Guide will help you, the parent, make sure that your child is ready to learn and jumps off to a successful start at school.

What are your top 3 smart media rules?

-Dr. Dave

National Institute on Media and the Family

How much sleep do children need? There are individual differences, but here are the recommendations from the National Sleep Foundation:

1. Toddlers: 12-14 hours
2. Preschoolers: 11-13 hours
3. School-age (1st through 5th grades): 10-11 hours
4. Preteens: a little over 9 hours
5. Teenagers: 8 to 9.5 hours of sleep

Not getting enough sleep can actually interfere with the brain’s ability to understand what’s being said. Like a series of dominoes, a child’s capacity to learn and cope decreases. How a child is able to participate and perform in a classroom is directly dependent on how much sleep he or she got the night before. Even an hour less of optimal sleep has a negative impact.

What is a major sleep thief for kids? Besides caffeinated drinks, it turns out that electronics in the bedroom, from cell phones to computers and TVs are major sleep robbers. A child who is hyped up with an increase of adrenaline from a video game or TV program will have a hard time calming down and falling asleep. Talking on a cell phone actually increases alpha waves in the brain which are not conducive to going to sleep.

What’s the ticket to a good night’s sleep? Establish a consistent bedtime routine. Make bedtime relaxing. Avoid hard exercise, caffeinated drinks and a big meal right before bedtime. And most of all keep electronics out of the bedroom. What bedtime routines work for your child?

See our Back to School Guide for more tips to get into the school spirit!

-Dr. Dave

National Institute on Media and the Family

“My 12-year-old REALLY wanted to go school shopping last night, new shoes, sweatpants and school supplies. I REALLY did not want to go shopping after a long day at work, finally coming home, etc. So we were sitting on the couch and he showed me on the laptop the shoes he was interested in … then he called a shoe store and they didn’t carry those, even though their online store did. So it turned out that we ordered his shoes online, searched and found a 20% off coupon which more than covered the shipping. Then we went to staples.com and bought his school supplies. I missed touching all the paper products, for sure, but it was so simple and sane. We could compare prices, we didn’t impulse buy because we weren’t tempted like we are in a store — we got just what we planned on getting and had a nice time together doing it.

• We saved money. I taught him how to look for coupons and price compare.
• We didn’t run around, stress out.
• We still kept it a “sharing” thing — I didn’t just do it, he was checking things off his list, choosing colors.
• We didn’t buy things we didn’t need.

Another colleague added a further “sanity saver.”  Along this line is a website called shopittome.com and the technology from RSSCheck. You tell them the things you are looking for, i.e. deals,  and that is what pops up.”

These moms know how to use technology to teach their kids “smart shopping” as well as save their sanity in these busy days.

-Dr. Dave

National Institute on Media and the Family

Here’s the research: our attention is limited to one complex action at a time. (Driving or biking is a complex action.) when we are driving the visual and spatial areas of our brain are engaged and focused on the road.  While we are texting, (also a complex action), our brain disengages from focusing on the road and focuses instead on the language areas of the brain and our cell phone text.  Our brain is not built to focus and engage on two complex tasks simultaneously, unfortunately when we text while we drive or bike we lose, our chances of a crash multiply significantly or the poor person in our path loses.

What are your rules for texting while driving?

-Dr. Dave

National Institute on Media and the Family

What I didn’t see as I scanned the pictures of the crowds was anyone making a tweet, text, or call. All cell phones, blackberries, cameras and iPods were banned at the entrance. Golfers need to concentrate to play well.

That golf course was probably the only electronic-free site in the U.S. and what was interesting was the generational divide in people’s reactions. A parent mused how nice it was to have a cell-free day without constant interruptions. His teen son reported that texting wasn’t noisy and what good was it to see Tiger Woods play if he couldn’t text his friends about it. A generation divide?? I wonder what that father and son talked about as they walked that course during the day and what the difference would be if the dad could check his emails from work and the son could text all his friends.

Maybe it’s a good idea to have occasional cell-phone free times in our lives. What would we talk about with each other?

Do you think cell phone free moments are a good idea?

-Dr. Dave
National Institute on Media and the Family

I remembered that vitamin D somehow is connected with calcium and that calcium is needed for healthy, strong bones, so much so that much of our milk and dairy products have vitamin D added. But I had to do some quick research to find out just how important vitamin D is.  What I found was scary: low levels of vitamin D is also linked to chronic diseases such as  high blood pressure, cancer, tooth decay, chronic pain, and diabetes, among others.  I stopped reading the list and ran outside to sit in the sun!  Because the way our bodies most efficiently absorb vitamin D is through exposure to sunlight.  It’s free, it’s easy.

And why are kids not getting enough sunlight? Too much time spent indoors in front of TV and video game screens. Kids need an active outdoor life for many reasons: Add vitamin D to the list!  See our Make It a MediaWise Summer parent guide from the National Institute on Media and the Family for ideas and add your own to help other parents.

How do you get your kids outside?

-Dr. Dave

TV and other screen time is an activity parents can do something about. Get your kids off the couch and on the path to healthy lifestyles.  Make screen time the “once in a while” activity this summer, not the main show.  I know it’s the hot month of  August and sometimes we just run out of ideas. See our  National Institute on Media and the Family parent guide, Make It a MediaWise® Summer for tips that can  help right now.  Also check out our Switch™ - active lifestyles from MediaWise program, an active and fun way for families, schools and communties to get on the road to healthy lifestyles.

Researchers have linked obesity to screen time for years.  This study is a warning that  health problems can happen to any child who is a watcher instead of a doer.

How do you get your kids up and about during the summer?

-Dr. Dave

1. The games create elaborate and complex worlds.
2. The games never stop – they go 24 hours a day/7days a week.
3. Gamers play with others, a team, made up of players from all over the world.

So what’s not to like about this new creative pastime? They are tons of fun, engaging games for kids to play online. But the biggest, most crucial challenge for parents to look out for in online gaming is addiction:

- Online gamers seem to be the most easily addicted.
- The number of hours gamers play online tend to be high.
- The people who report addictive symptoms are more likely to be online gamers.

It’s important for parents to set down and enforce rules of play in advance. Once online gaming is out of control, it’s hard to get it back under control. If you decide your child is old enough for an online game, tell them they can try it for a trial period to see if can follow the rules.

Here are three rules to consider:

1. Time limits: We recommend no more than 2 hours of total screen time (including videogames, TV, computer, etc.). What piece will online gaming have in your total time limit?
2. When: define the specific time when your child can play, perhaps after homework or household jobs are finished.
3. Consequences: Tell your child what will happen if he or she doesn’t follow the rules (and enforce it). Perhaps: “Won’t be able to play for ‘X #’ of days.”

Remember to follow the ratings to find games with appropriate content for your child. Also be aware that your child may be playing with team members who could be much older – make sure you check in on their play. Keeping the online gaming computer out of kids’ bedrooms and in a common area of the house will help you keep track of your child’s play. Since these games run 24 hours a day, the temptation and pressure to engage with the game is very high.

To learn more about online gaming and how you can increase your Digital Parenting skill, see our Parent Guide to Online Gaming for more discussion and tips.

Help other parents – what has been your experience with online gaming with your child?

-Dr. Dave

But I was reminded this past weekend of another opportunity to share family time – job time. We were clearing and washing the dishes from our family gathering  when I realized that I was talking differently with my daughter-in-law, than in the previous hour. We were working together and I realized we were sharing the every day stuff of life.

We can do this with our kids too. Modern conveniences, as much as we all love them, can take away opportunities to just work together. Washing dishes is such a one-person, one-machine job now. I’m not advocating throwing out your dishwasher, but try to find jobs that you can do together. Maybe it is washing and drying the dishes by hand, folding clothes, washing a few windows or the car, making a meal together, weeding, or dusting. There are lots of tasks that need to be done to keep a home in shape. Include your kids, do the work with them, slow down and chat. You can make any job more fun. Our More, Easy, Fast and Fun culture has done a great job of telling us that work is not enjoyable and should be minimized as much as possible. But we miss a great opportunity if the traditional fun time is the only time we connect with our kids.  At the National Institute on Media and the Family we supply tips and tools for quality family time.

What jobs can you do with your kids?

Dr. Dave