As we all can agree, being a parent is one of the most critical jobs in the world that contains the least amount of tangible returns. No, I do not want to sound like discouraging people from having kids just because I say it is very challenging. All I am saying is that parenting is never going to be easy for anyone of us. The process will cause too much emotional and mental damage that is inevitable. Cases are, we will sometimes never going to handle things the way we should.
Handling Children
Our kids do not owe as anything at all. The truth is, they are not obliged to act and have the same mindset as we parents have. Therefore, it is useless to keep tabs of everything we want our kids to follow and obey. Yes, we can set rules and regulations because that is what parents do to keep their children safe. However, there is no guarantee that our kids will be able to appreciate and value that. We have to understand that our children can never repay us, so it is pointless to make them accountable for our sacrifices and effort. You see, the moment we decided to bring them into the world, we already know what the consequences are. We already know that whatever we do, we can never take some of our hardships and sacrifices back. Therefore, there is no use of holding our children captive with the idea of gratitude they should have for us. Dr. R. Y. Langham, Ph.D. said, “When a child’s social and emotional issues and psychological distress are left untreated, it can negatively impact his/her educational aspirations and developmental milestones.” It should be that clear.
Doing It Right
Honestly, there is no perfect parenting. We can never execute a proper parenting style that can make our children appreciate, value, and obey all the time. There is always a significant amount of mishaps that we can never control. And even if we think about creating a better environment for them, sometimes, it can be us that tend to damage their overall development. So if you haven’t noticed, there is entirely no answer in this article. There is no way parents like us can carry out proper parenting. But, fortunately, that is the whole point of it. As parents, our mistakes are the ones that will provide us a lesson. Meaning, the more we create decisions, and the more we internalize our parenting issues, the higher the chance we can handle our kids way better than the usual. So “Rather than focusing on weaknesses, find ways to assist your child in developing to his or her full potential. When encouraged, children will acquire talents to compensate for any deficiencies.” Barton Goldsmith, Ph.D., LMFT said.
Perhaps we can all agree that our best will never always be good enough for our kids. That even if we think we try everything, our kids will still feel empty. Our children will yet have a lot of something to say to us regarding our parenting style. Well, some kids might appreciate little things from what we do, and some kids may not. Depending on the situation, parents will still end up expanding their patience, understanding, and empathy towards the children who only know what they believe is right. Again, I am not discouraging everyone from having kids their own. I am only emphasizing that no matter what we do, we can never create a perfect parenting style. “You know your children best. Doctors, teachers, therapists are all fantastic resources but if you don’t feel like you’re being heard, or your child’s needs are being met, it’s very reasonable to get a second opinion. Don’t be afraid to fight for your child and their needs. While the professionals are experts in their areas, you are the expert on your child.” A reminder from Dr. Darla Clayton, PsyD.