Being a parent is a challenging role to play. Often, you doubt yourself if you are doing the right thing to raise your children. You are not sure whether you should be strict or cool. You love your children, and you want them to love you, but sometimes, it is just impossible because there are particular rules that you need to implement which make them hate you.
If you are one of those parents who are strict and worried that they might be doing parenting wrong, then take a deep breath and relax. You should be praising yourself and tapping yourself on the back because you are more likely to raise responsible and successful children.
What Is Strict Parenting?
- When parents say no, it means NO! Some parents give in to their children’s cute facial reactions, puppy eyes, or they sometimes feel guilty for refusing what their children want. However, NO should mean no; otherwise, the children might think a no means a YES later with the help of a little time and persuasion. But never ignore Laura Markham, a clinical psychologist stand on this. That “being too strict can cause depression and loneliness in children, because a child may feel unwanted. A child may become insecure, as he may feel unworthy of acceptance and affection. The child may then develop low self-esteem, lack of confidence or an inferiority complex.” Balance is till the key.
- Parents set rules or curfews, especially when they have teens. It teaches the teens to obey and respect the rules, and of course, their parents. It is also beneficial for the teens’ safety as crimes are rampant nowadays. Strict parents are serious in implementing consequences or punishments when their children do not follow curfews. Remember, “Each style takes a different approach to raising children, and can be identified by a number of different characteristics.” Amy Morin, LCSW explains.
- “You are grounded!” We often hear this line from parents who are punishing their children for doing something unacceptable such as lying, staying out late, failing in school, hurting someone, and more. Being grounded is fearsome for children or teens because it means they wouldn’t be able to do something they are fond of doing like being with friends, chatting on their computer or phone, or playing games.
- Strict parents set limitations on pleasurable things like buying the children gadgets or anything more than what they need. Not buying them everything they want is a way for parents to teach them patience and hard work. Children would also learn the value of money, so they will find a way to be responsible and productive because they know these are what it takes to get the things they want.
- Strict parents are not strict for the sake of being it. They are that for a reason which is to raise their children to be well, responsible, and productive citizens in the future. They have an idea of what a person would be like without the proper guidance of parents. These are all okay as long as the children know your reason for being tough on them. Communication is the best way to let them know. Don’t be someone who only implements rules. They need to understand why they are following you, and that is because you love them, and you want the best for them.
It is true that children with strict parents tend to have more chances of being successful later on in life. It is for the reason that they already know how to obey rules when they were young. They already learned cause and consequence and that life is all about it. Along with strict parenting, it should also be understandable to children why parents are strict. They should learn that it is for their own sake, and after all, parents only want the best for them. So if your children hate you most of the time because of the rules you implement, don’t fret. It just means you are raising them correctly, and you might as well be hated for now than to let them grow up to be a brat. “How parents navigate this difficult phase can make a huge difference in not only the ultimate outcome but in the daily strife that occurs.” Allison Ricciardi, LMHC said.